After many, many weeks post-wedding, I am finally sharing some of my favorite photographs capturing memories from our small wedding under the Brooklyn Bridge. Since I am all about sharing new learning through my blog posts, I hope to also use this opportunity to share more about my search for a local New York City (wedding) photographer. It did not take long for me to decide on Shelby Phillips as my wedding photographer. While I will do my best to recall the objective reasons for my selection, in the end, it all came down to a gut feeling from my online and in-person interactions with Shelby. Looking back, I am so glad I followed my intuition, because the end result has been a beautiful collection of photographs that my husband and I will treasure for the years to come. Shelby—this post is my way of thanking you for a most beautiful day and the photographs to remember it by.
1. Starting with a budget…
Prior to my own wedding, I had been to four weddings, all of which were beautiful with their own personality, but all fairly large. For my wedding, I took on the responsibility of being my own wedding planner, hoping to save some money that way. For a while, Max and I had flirted with the idea of having our wedding in Italy and celebrating the day with just our immediate family. Then, after learning about the high costs and nightmare paperwork associated with a destination wedding, we thought about having our wedding in the South (like Charleston, SC). That planning turned out to be extra tricky, and I quickly realized that I would have to hire a wedding planner because there was no way I could manage long-distance planning on my own while being a full-time grad student. We then pondered the idea of doing a painless city hall wedding and going out for brunch with our family. Keeping it simple, right? But that seemed way too simple; plus, we really wanted a chance to bring our closest friends together from different corners of the world. In the end, we decided on a New York City wedding (for relative ease of travel for our guests), and with that came a New York City price tag. I had to get creative about ways to organize the wedding while working within a budget.
I share all of this background information because money was something that was constantly on my mind as I was looking for the right photographer. Yes, I get it, a wedding day is not an ordinary day, and one should not feel guilty about splurging, right? Yes to some extent, but as a pretty practically-minded person when it comes to finances, I was not ready to go all out.
Before looking for a photographer, I had booked my venue. That step was important because the venue is generally the most expensive part of a wedding; at least it was for me. After I played with the numbers, I budgeted about $2000 for wedding photography and videography combined, and that was the upper limit of what I could afford (still quite high!)
2. Googling wedding photography in New York City…
Once I had a number in mind for photography expenses, I started Googling wedding photography in New York City. Many articles and online forums surfaced from this search and most were about the average cost of wedding photography in the city. I was tempted to read them, and I did read some, but since I had already come up with a number, I decided to go right into sites like Wedding Wire, The Knot, and The Cut. But even that was overwhelming… There were hundreds of wedding photographers, the majority of whom had rave reviews and beautiful preview shots. I thought about using filters to narrow down the search and decided on a different strategy… (read below)
3. Beginning in the middle…
The phrase “beginning in the middle” has taken on a whole new meaning for me, after a semester of thinking with Gilles Deleuze and Felix Guattari as part of a post-structuralist course in curriculum and teaching. In the context of finding the right wedding photographer, however, the phrase is meant to be taken quite literally: begin in the middle of your search. That meant, skipping pages 1, 2, 3, and maybe more and going straight for the middle of the search results. I believe I skipped right to page 5 or 6, and started my search there. I did a superficial skim of the photos and descriptions to gather a first impression, and wrote out a list of photographers I wanted to look into. Shelby Phillips Photography was on that list.
Why begin in the middle, you ask? Perhaps it is the teacher in me, but I have vigorously rejected the notion of an “average” student (neither in the top/front, nor in the bottom/back), or in this case, an “average” photographer, whatever that means. A philosophy guiding my own teaching has always been to uncover the gem in every student, and to help that student recognize their gifts. Importantly, I believe in giving opportunities to those just embarking on a journey, and whenever possible, I try to support budding artists. In many ways, I believe this is my way of giving thanks to those who took a chance on me and hired me as a beginning researcher, a newly minted teacher, and most recently, a doctoral student without a master’s degree. The beginning is always the toughest, and everyone deserves a chance to show what they have to offer. Beginning a search in the middle has been my way of attempting to uncover those hidden gems in the mixture.
4. Reading reviews carefully…
Shelby Phillips Photography had a handful of reviews at the time when I first found her (summer of 2018). I read the reviews very carefully, paying close attention to those key words that resonated with me—words and phrases like “natural,” “creative,” “thoughtful,” and “attention to detail.” As both Max and I are camera-shy, I was looking for a photographer who could make us feel at ease, or at least help us not feel super awkward in front of a camera. So, as I was reading reviews, I was also looking out for those reviews from clients who are similarly camera-shy.
I believe I spent a good full day reading the reviews of those photographers who made it to my initial list (gathered based on a first impression). Then I proceeded to the next step…
5. Making contact with the photographer…
While first impressions are to be honored, there is also value to giving those whom you are evaluating a chance to express themselves and to tell their own version of a story. So, after carefully reading reviews and ending with a list of about 5-6 photographers, I reached out by email to each of them. I could have called (that would have been faster), but 1) I do not enjoy making phone calls because I have a hard time gauging the person on the other end of the line, 2) I wanted to make sure I articulated everything well and trying to speak, listen, and take notes made that difficult, and 3) I did not want to feel pressured into making a quick decision, which can sometimes happen when speaking with someone very persuasive.
This is the email I drafted and ended up tweaking and then sending off to the photographers:
Hello—
I'm writing to learn a little more about your wedding photography services and to see if we are a good fit for you and if you're a good fit for us. My fiancé and I recently moved to NYC to begin the next professional phase of our lives-- he's a physician training at MSKCC and I'm a high school teacher turned doctoral student at Columbia. We are both photo-shy people but would like someone to help us capture precious moments on our special day, which we are spending with no more than 40 guests at The River Cafe under the Brooklyn Bridge. Will you let us know if you are available? Also, could you describe for us your photographic style? What is most important for you when it comes to wedding photography? Thank you in advance!
Catherine & Max
What I sent is arguably wordy, but that is my style. I also tend to share too many details, according to Max, who prefers to keep all email exchanges as brief as possible (e.g., “sure,” “OK,” “thanks”). But there is also a reason for this. By sharing personal details, I am welcoming the recipient to do the same, because details matter greatly to me, particularly when it comes to capturing a day as delicate and personal as a wedding. A few of the wedding photographers responded promptly (which I greatly appreciated), but too often did the responses feel “canned” and unbearably impersonal.
I also included specific questions in my inquiry. In some ways, this was a test of sorts, to see whether the photographer actually takes the time to read my email and to respond accordingly. In a few cases, I received a generic answer along the lines of “please see the FAQ section of the website.” This was a red flag for me because if the photographer cannot spare a few minutes to answer questions that matter to me, then how responsive and dedicated will he/she be when it comes to the actual day?
For me, wedding photography is not just a service; it is a genuine attempt to make a connection and to perhaps even foster a friendship. This is part of the reason why I confined my search to local New York City photographers. That personal connection was essential to me.
6. A matter of style: Learning about the photographer’s philosophy…
Shelby Phillips impressed me from the start. Before reaching out to her via email, I took some time to learn about her. From her personal blog, I learned that she is a recent graduate of NYU, that she loves photographing horses, that she is also an actor and a writer, and that she has a passion for bringing moments to life through photography. From looking at her curated selection of photographs on her website, I quickly learned that she cares about the minor gestures, the subtleties of a moment, and the play of light.
At the time I found her, I believe wedding photography was not her main focus; it seemed that she photographed more four-legged animals than did two-legged ones. I personally did not mind this one bit; rather, I found her versatility as a photographer to be a source of strength. If she could capture emotion and beauty without outward displays of emotions and beauty, then that speaks to her craft as an artist. I found her gentle and personal touch to photography to resonate deeply with me, and I also appreciated how she wrote about her life experiences in her blog. Here was a passionate young woman who not only observes the world with her eyes, but also attunes to it with her heart fully open. There was so much feeling evoked in both her writing and her photographs. There was so much vibrancy in her black-and-white captures. I was immediately hooked.
7. Getting a first impression in person…
Shelby and I exchanged quite a few emails before we decided it was time to meet in person. When she asked if I wanted to grab coffee, I was beyond excited. She sent me an email with specific times and locations, and left it open to me to choose. From her emails, I could tell that she took her job seriously and approached it professionally, and that she was organized. I also learned that she loves ice cream lattes (who can blame her?).
The day we met was a particularly hot one. Fortunately, Shelby had arrived early at Bluestone Lane Coffee next to the Guggenheim Museum and kindly secured a table with shade for both of us. It can be so tricky to obtain a table at this coveted Upper East Side coffee shop, so I was extra thankful that I did not have to wait in line.
As an extreme introvert, I admit that I can be pretty awkward during social situations, or so I feel. It takes quite some effort for me to feel comfortable talking, because small talk does not come naturally to me. When I sat down at the table next to Shelby, conversing with her could not have been easier easier. I found her to be down-to-earth and super genuine. She was not wearing makeup that day and was dressed down in a tank top and short shorts, for which she admitted openly that she felt insecure about (she told me she was not sure how I would “read” her). I assured her that I did not mind one bit what she was wearing, and that I was more interested in getting to know her and her approach to working with couples in front of a camera.
She asked me some questions and I asked her some in return. She wanted me to share the story of how Max and I met. While I told the story, she listened attentively but did not speak. She took down some notes by hand in her notebook (she did ask for permission to do so). What may seem on the surface to resemble an interview did not feel this way at all. There was such ease to the conversation and before I knew it, I had finished my ice cream latte (it was delicious, as Shelby assured me), but not before she finished hers.
I cannot quite remember the details of our conversation, only that everything about it felt right. I knew she was the right person to photograph me and Max. If I had felt comfortable talking to her during a first-time meeting, then my more extroverted fiancé was not going to have an issue either.
Shelby kindly offered to pay for my ice cream latte, adding that “you are already paying me a lot of money.” I appreciated the gesture, said goodbye, and walked away with a smile. I went home and wrote her a thank you card.
8. Signing a contract and paying an initial deposit…
As it was my first time hiring a professional photographer, I was not informed about the steps. Fortunately, Shelby was fully prepared. She drafted a formal contract, which I signed after reading it carefully. Per her contract, she requested a 25% deposit (non-refundable), which I thought was very reasonable. In the contract, she broke down the specifics of her fee (my package ended up costing $1000, before tips), indicated when and how I was going to receive the photographs, and even gave me an estimate of how many photographs I was to expect. For someone as young as Shelby, I thought she demonstrated maturity and professionalism beyond her years. This girl was going places, and I was happy to play a small part in her professional journey.
9. Staying in touch…
It was August 13, 2018 when I signed the contract and mailed it to Shelby, and the wedding was not until May 24, 2019. During the months in-between, Shelby and I stayed in touch. I followed her on instagram; she texted me occasionally to let me know that she was looking forward to the wedding, and that she had visited the wedding venue to get some inspiration. She even connected me with a videographer after my parents decided that they really wanted to capture some video footage of the wedding. All of these efforts on her part showed me that she valued me as a client and that it was not just transactional for her. That was important to me.
10. Getting ready for the big day…
The day before the wedding, Shelby reached out once more to finalize some details. She and the videographer arrived together at the hotel we were staying at. I had not planned on taking any “getting ready” photos, but both Shelby and I were enchanted by the suite that hotel management had given me (I had booked one of their “basic” rooms because the hotel already cost a fortune! It also did not help that it was Memorial Day weekend… sigh…) so we made use of the opportunity and took some photos. I was already fully dressed in my wedding dress with my heels on, so there were no separate wedding dress/wedding shoes photos (I honestly did not care for these). Shelby saved me from my clumsy self and gave me specific directions for where to stand, where to direct my gaze, what to do with my arms, etc. The whole time I was cracking up because I felt like such an attention snob. Shelby did not care; she was too busy maneuvering the space, clicking away on her camera.
Before we knew it, ten minutes had passed and it was time for us to make our way to the wedding venue. Max, his brother (best man), his father, my father, and all of our guests were already either at the venue or making their way there. It was time for the women in the family to join them.
The 5-minute walk to the wedding venue felt like eternity (in a good way!). I opted for an impractically long train for my wedding dress (I’m old-fashioned at heart!) so my younger sister dedicatedly carried it as I walked ahead of her. There were many stares from strangers along the way, but honestly, I did not pay attention because I was so focused on taking small steps so that I would not trip, or worse, get my heels stuck between the cracks in the sidewalk. It was past 5pm and the sun was blazing hot, but because we were situated right by the water, there was an occasional gentle breeze. Shelby was particularly excited about the wind, because it paved the way for some truly magnificent “action shots.”
As I slowly made my way to the venue with my sister directly behind me, and my mother and soon-to-be mother-in-law next to us, Shelby was quick on her feet, capturing the magic in the small moments, while playing with the light. As I look back on the photographs that she took of that day, I am amazed by how she chased the light throughout the day and into the evening, how she beautifully brought life into still photographs, and how she managed to capture all our family and friends in a way that reflects each person’s personality.
At one point while we were taking these bride-and-groom and family photos, Shelby lay right down on the ground, belly down, feet up behind her, with her face hidden from view by her large camera lens. To get the right angle, she did what she felt was the right thing to do as a photographer. I almost wish I had my iPhone at the time, because I truly wanted to capture that spontaneous moment of a young photographer hard at work, making her mark as a professional photographer.
Today, when I visit Shelby’s website, I immediately notice that it has grown. Since I signed my wedding photography contract, Shelby has taken on several other weddings, bringing life to a blank canvas by means of her camera lens, coupled with her eye for precious moments. I am so pleased to know that she is doing well, and that her dedication to her craft has paid off.
I will conclude this post with words coming directly from Shelby, in the form of an email response. This was her first email to me, in which she addressed the questions I inquired about:
The most important thing to me when I’m working with anybody (weddings, engagements, horses, dogs… you name it!) is that my client is comfortable and able to be themselves in front of the camera, no matter what that may be! I like to believe I’ve become an expert at minimizing the presence of the camera and giving my clients the space to relax and enjoy themselves. I actually love working with people who are more camera shy, because I feel they share some of the most intimate moments in front of the camera. I believe in not having a client-photographer relationship while I shoot, but rather a relationship between people who are all there to achieve the same goal, which in this case is to celebrate your love.
-Shelby Phillips
And naturally, I have to include a photograph she took of a four-legged animal that happened to be sharing the wedding venue with us, because, well, otherwise, it would be out of style for Shelby.
(I am revisiting this post, now in October, 2020, and I’m pleased to write that I’m still in touch with Shelby. She’s a gem of a photographer and an open-hearted human being! I’m rooting for her and enjoy seeing new photographs on her blog).
While on the topic of photography, if you are looking for a fantastic professional headshot, look no further than Hector Pachas Photography, whose work I discuss here.