Happy Friday everyone! I wish I were in a happier state, but it has been an emotional week, and a particularly draining day yesterday with the hearings of Dr. Ford and Judge Kavanaugh. I hit a point yesterday when I became so frustrated, and then I found myself in a state of both disillusionment and clarity. I decided to open up and voice my opinion on Instagram. As someone who is very private, this was a big deal for me. However, as a doctoral student in education, my perspective has broadly expanded these few weeks, and I felt I could not remain “objective” and “neutral” any longer. At some point, when you speak your mind about something you feel strongly about, you will offend someone, even if it is not your intention to. And that is OK. Not everyone will share your viewpoint, and not everyone will agree. You will get criticized, and you will be challenged, but I think I’m OK with that. We don’t talk enough about issues of conflict in our public schools. Whenever possible, we avoid discussing anything that might trigger students, make them uncomfortable (but not unsafe; there is a difference!). Looking back, I think this is not the way to go, because life is full of uncomfortable moments. Our society does not treat people equally, as much as we want to believe that is not the case. If we don’t engage our students in these uncomfortable conversations in a protected, supportive environment, how do we expect students to deal with conflict once they leave school and enter the world beyond? Anyhow, enough of that. Let me shift gears :)
This post is a continuation of last week’s post, in which I shared my vision of my new “money series,” and detailed aspects of my financial life as a new graduate student living off-campus in the New York City. To gain some context prior to reading this post, I would highly encourage you to start with that one, if you haven’t read it already. Otherwise, this particular entry might seem rather strange and out-of-context.
Enjoy, and let me know if I can answer any questions!
Day 1 - Saturday:
I have breakfast at home consisting of nutella toast and miscellaneous spreads. Early in the morning, I made a grocery run to a market a couple of blocks down and bought fresh flowers for the first time (5 stems for $5.99); I figured I would treat myself and decorate the apartment a bit since I have guests over! The grocery bill totals $36.94 for 12 items (fresh cut flowers, fresh pesto, homemade pappardelle pasta, Walaby yogurts, Greek yogurts, Kozy rice pudding, seedless red grapes, and a 2-lbs Pulman Health loaf). Some of the items are on sale (I usually wait for things to go on sale to purchase them, unless it is an item that is essential, like toilet paper, or an item that I’m craving, like Viennese Manner). I set up the table for breakfast and it looks quite nice! It is nice to have company for breakfast; every day during the week, I have been eating breakfast solo or eating on the way somewhere.
Although I am by no means a New York City local, I serve as tour guide for the day. Just yesterday, I bought a 7-day unlimited rides metrocard for $32 + $1 card fee, thinking that it would come in handy as I explore the city with my guests. Some of the places I take my sister and her friend from college is Chelsea Market and The High Line. I have not been to either location myself so I am thrilled to be part of this journey. The weather could not be more perfect for a walking tour around various neighborhoods in the city, but apparently we are not alone in thinking this because The High Line is packed with people. It is nonetheless a meaningful walk of a couple of miles along the west side of the city. At this higher altitude, you can see a different (and quieter?) side of the city. We walk the entire High Line from start to finish and make our way to the Flatiron district on foot for a late lunch. After walking around one of my favorite markets, Eataly, we share a pizza margherita, the thin crust variety. SO GOOD. I could eat an entire one myself. I insist on treating everyone to lunch, but my sister and her friend pay me back. My part is approximately $8, including tip.
Feeling a food coma emerging, we go for a neighborhood stroll. This is my second time in Chelsea, one of my favorite neighborhoods. There is no shortage of coffee shops and just shops in general. We take a peek in Muji, a Japanese chain store selling everything from the best office supplies (super fine pens and durable notebooks), to minimalistic fashion, to home decor/storage options. The store is airy and calming. I could literally spend the day here. We don’t however. I take the girls to Cafe Grumpy in West Chelsea for some iced tea. We are feeling parched and just need something refreshing. I pay for my sister (though I have a feeling she will return the favor in some manner, because it just runs in the family); her friend was adamant about paying for herself. I totally get it; I think I would have done the same, so I don’t give her a hard time about it. $4 for my iced tea. I drink it up quickly, but we spend some time in the coffee shop. Next stop: the highly acclaimed Rizzoli Bookstore, which is a smaller bookstore focused on the arts. It is charming, to say the least, but there is no place to sit down. Not my kind of bookstore.
My wedding dress consultation is at 5pm in the neighborhood. Yes, I am getting married soon (spring of 2019)! This is my first ever wedding dress consultation; I have never gone wedding dress shopping for a friend, let alone myself, so this is new and I have no idea what to expect. Weddings can be a very big deal for some couples; Max and I are relatively private, simple people. We plan on inviting family and some of our closest friends, keeping the occasion focused on our company. I have spent quite some time planning for the wedding and I’m still not close to being done. There is so much to take care of: finding and securing a venue for a specific date, finding a photographer, booking music, sending out Save-the-Date, sending out invitations, finding a dress, finding shoes, figuring out decor, etc. The hardest part for us was definitely the venue, but I think we made an excellent decision; I’m excited for the food too! In any case, wedding planning is not my forte, and keeping track of expenses has been less than fun (I genuinely thought I would be able to keep all the expenses below $10,000, especially for a small group of some 30-40 guests, but forget it if you want to do something special here in New York City. I should have known. I guess I am quite naive). Long story short, I try on several dresses I had selected prior to the in-person consultation. I also try on some new dresses. My sister and her friend give me their honest opinion, and so do my parents, whom we FaceTimed in just for the occasion. As expected, there were some major disagreements with my parents on what dress style. Let’s just say that my parents are quite conservative and were hoping that I would try on more traditional wedding dresses. I, on the other hand, am a bit rebellious, and wanted something more modern, unconventional, yet still glamorous (but not over-the-top). To be honest, the whole experience left me quite annoyed, and I guess my irritation showed. I admit, I was quite impatient. I wanted to pick my dress in one sitting; wedding dress shopping is not my thing (gasp, how dare you, Catherine!). I don’t like the attention, and I don’t like making difficult decisions. In the end, I went with my heart and picked the first dress I tried on, which was NOT one of the dresses I had picked out on my own. Something just felt right about that dress, even though one may argue some of the other dresses were more “Catherine’s style.” I decided to go a little bolder; after all, a wedding day is not any regular day. I will omit the price of the dress for this post, because it will completely skew my weekly spending.
After a very productive day on foot, I go out for dinner with the girls and Max. We meet at Vapiano in Union Square by New York University. This lifted my mood quite a bit, because Vapiano is a favorite Italian restaurant of mine since my study abroad time in Vienna, Austria. It is a staple in Germany, but not yet very common in the U.S. There is another Vapiano restaurant in Chicago. I will post more about Vapiano in the future, because it deserves its own post. I order a hearty pasta dish---the “Filetto Di Manzo E Rucola”---and absolutely love it. The ingredients are fresh and flavorful. Max also treats me to a cocktail drink. I’m not a drinker, not even a social drinker, but will have the occasional drink when the moment is right. After walking over 10 miles (!!!) for the day, I decide to go for it. Max covers the check.
Daily Total = $81.94
Day 2 - Sunday:
Everyone sleeps in. Max has the day off, so we all get brunch at “3 Decker Diner” in the neighborhood. I order an omelette, Max gets his usual French toast, and the girls get their own omelettes. Max is a gentleman and treats us all. Afterwards, we go our separate ways. I figured that the girls may want some independence in exploring the city on their own.
Max and I take the subway down to 23rd street and we walk west towards Chelsea. We sit for a few hours at Intelligentsia Coffee inside the High Line Hotel, a true hidden gem. It is an absolute MUST if you are ever in the city and the weather is nice. When I have more time, I hope to share more about it as part of a “coffee house guide” post. I order a cappuccino and Max requests an iced latte. I cover the bill: $9. While at Intelligentsia Coffee, I end up chatting/texting with a good friend from my college days for a full hour (or more?). It was so needed and I’m glad we found the time to reconnect. Max makes amazing progress on his work; I have not made any progress…. yet. We partially walk The High Line (my second time), and then explore the Meatpacking District on foot.
We get hungry and walk towards the Flatiron District. I suggested taking a bus, since there would be quite a few blocks (avenues) to walk. I had walked over 10 miles yesterday exploring the city on foot, so my feet were a little tired. Max insisted on walking, since it would only be, in his words, “a few blocks.” He later admitted that he did not realize how far apart avenues are, compared with streets. All is forgiven. We get Roman pizza at Eataly (he kindly treats me), followed by nutella gelato, one scoop (I treat him). $4.90 for a single scoop. It is worth it. Afterwards, we head home to get some work done.
The girls come home and I make dinner: fresh pesto with homemade (not by me) pappardelle, served with roasted pepper/asiago chicken sausage. I thought it was a failed attempt (pasta was sticking to the pot), but everyone enjoyed it. Too kind of everyone. We eat the pineapple and red bean paste buns my sister picked up from Chinatown. She also bought mooncakes (green tea variety), but we ended up with the red bean paste variety. I did not mind, but she was very upset by the mix-up. I can understand. I try to cheer her up with Haagen-dazs ice cream.
Max calls it a night since he has an early morning tomorrow. In the meanwhile, my sister goes through my pile of clothes and accessories and picks out what she wants. She tries on some of my professional wear, which may serve as interview clothes one day. Before we know it, we realize it is after midnight and we call it a night, too. Clothing try on to be continued tomorrow.
Daily Total = $13.90
Day 3 - Monday:
We have breakfast at home: nutella toast, almond butter toast, fresh grapes, and miscellaneous. After breakfast, the girls pack up their bags. My sister has trouble stuffing all the clothes she inherited from me during this trip. So, as the older sister, I whip out my SpaceSaver vacuum bags (a true lifesaver when moving and traveling!) and we easily condense all the clothes into a small flattened bag. It fits in her small suitcase. It’s a win.
We walk a few blocks to Central Park. I show the girls Bluestone Lane Coffee, and we admire the outside of the Guggenheim (no time to go inside today). We enjoy the beauty of Jackie Kennedy Onassis Reservoir, and make our way down Central Park towards the Loeb Boathouse. We comment on how today is a terrible day for kayaking/rowing. It is humid and oh-so-hot! We make it to the Literary Walk. There is live music and plenty of artwork for sale, along with touristy stuff.
We visit the Plaza Hotel. Correction: we visit the food hall underneath the Plaza Hotel, and stare at Lady M cakes (we don’t buy any since we are saving our appetite for a good lunch). There is so much to look at and so much to eat!
We walk along Fifth Avenue, and go inside Tiffany & Co., which is a must see when in NYC. Obviously, we don’t buy anything. We exit and turn to our left and see more than half a dozen heavily armed police officers (security guards? SWAT men? Not sure exactly what their title is). We look up: yup, it’s the Trump Tower. How distasteful it is to walk out of the beautiful Tiffany store and onto Fifth Avenue, only to be surrounded by armed men. Anyhow, I try to ignore it all. It is what it is. Let’s leave it at that.
We continue with some touristy highlights, such as the Rockefeller Center and Carnegie Hall. I purchase an overpriced smoothie from a food cart: $9. What the actual heck? I’m still stunned to this day. With $9, I could get whatever drink I want at Starbucks, venti size even! I’m bitter about it, but we were thirsty and a smoothie sounded really good at the moment. In hindsight, the guy ripped us off, thinking we are tourists. Well, I guess some of us are :) I went to a similar cart a few days later and only paid $6 for the same smoothie. Lesson learned: ALWAYS ask for the price before handing in your cash, and when in doubt, ask “Are you sure this is the correct price? I’ve been here before and it seems oddly high.”
As for lunch, the girls vote for ramen. We go to Peng’s Noodle Folk in Upper East Side. AMAZING. I will be back! (Update: Since this post, I have been to Peng’s Noodle Folk a total of three times). $15, tip included, for a large bowl of Tonkatsu Chashu Pork Ramen.
We depart for Port Authority Bus Terminal. We are a little behind schedule but the Q line does not disappoint. The girls almost get on the wrong bus. They’re on the “platinum” bus (fancy, schmancy, I’d say). I wave goodbye from behind the window, feeling very sad all of a sudden. The weekend went by too quickly, as does every weekend. I wait until the bus leaves and I make my way back to the subway station. Back at the apartment, I discover my sister’s letter to me on the toilet seat. She must have slipped it there in a desperate attempt to hide it from me. The letter is handwritten and it is a long one (which I love). I decide to save it for bedtime. I motivate myself to get some more course reading done before reading it. Max comes home late in the evening. I eat my leftovers for dinner. $0.
Daily Total = $24
Day 4 - Tuesday:
Today is a big day for me, as it is the start of Orientation Week at Columbia Teachers College. Things are getting real, real quickly. I pick out a comfortable outfit for the day, knowing that it will be a full-day event, from 9am until 8pm or so in the evening. I get up around 7:30am, eat breakfast in the apartment, and hop on a bus, followed by a subway, and hop off at 116th Street/Columbia University. My weekly MetroCard pass comes in handy, and I consider purchasing the unlimited 30-day pass for $121 when the current pass expires. I make my way to Lerner Auditorium on Broadway, and it is packed with students. There is complimentary coffee, fruit, and pastries (darn, I think to myself, I should have known there was breakfast provided). I get some coffee and fruit and find myself a seat in the “Curriculum & Teaching” section of the auditorium. There are many of us there-- the majority of students are here for the master’s. I engage in some conversation with those sitting around me, trying my best to be as social as possible. Secretly, I just want to sit and listen. There is lecture after lecture, and they are anything but boring to me. I am engrossed and feeling both inspired and anxious. I share more about my experience as a graduate student in this earlier post.
Lunch is provided in Russell Courtyard. There are tents set up, along with tables. There is plenty of free food, and there is a lively band playing energizing music. I don’t see anyone I know (how awkward) so I find an empty spot at one of those “standing tables.” I strike up a conversation with another student, both of us evidently uncomfortable. It is funny that this feeling of awkwardness does not go away with age. An introvert will always be an introvert. After lunch, I attend a resource fair, collect some freebies, enter some raffles, and attend various workshops relating to the doctoral student experience. At 4pm, there is a “Carnival kick-off”; I decide to skip this one, not feeling like socializing. I walk across the street to Joe’s Coffee and hang out there for a little bit. $4 for some solo time after a stimulating day is totally worth it. I would pay for that.
At 5pm, the Doctoral Orientation program begins back inside Zankel Hall at Teachers College. This program is much more intimate, with 18 students (including myself). After talking business, and receiving a very, very large packet containing requirements for obtaining the doctoral degree, it is time for “meet and greet.” Again. If you are an extrovert reading this, you might be thinking to yourself, “Hey, what’s the problem? There’s free food, free drinks, new people to get to know… how exciting!” But if you are an introvert like me, you can imagine that, by this time in the evening, I’m wiped out and have socialized enough to last me a good week. Even so, I put on a brave face, gather up all the energy left inside me, and mingle with my new colleagues. Fortunately, I find two other individuals who are similarly shy and soft-spoken and I literally cling on to them for the rest of the evening, wanting to stay in this comfort zone for as long as possible. Before I know it, 18 students are down to 10 students, and then down to 5 students. I am amazed at how long I lasted, and I think to myself, that maybe this is a new beginning for me, and that I will be able to conquer networking once-and-for-all.
Daily Total = $4
Day 5 - Wednesday:
The morning is a bit of a blur. I hit snooze on my phone alarm for at least ten times. I realize that we are out of food, so I pick up some breakfast items at a local grocer. I pick up some seedless grapes and a new loaf of bread for about $10. It is kind of ridiculous how expensive fresh food is here in New York City.
I make my way to Teachers College and camp out in one of the libraries on campus. My first class starts Monday next week, and I still have quite a bit of reading left to do. I buckle down and read for a few hours. For lunch, I walk to Broadway along the Columbia University campus and end up purchasing lunch at one of the Thai carts. There are so many options available, but I don’t have cash on me, so that leaves me with fewer options. I order drunken noodles with chicken for $7.61, which comes with a free Thai iced tea. I pay with my credit card (you should too!).
In the afternoon, I attend a writing workshop hosted by the Graduate Writing Center. I learn about APA style, along with the basics of academic writing (response paper, term paper, literature review, thesis writing, dissertation writing). I take notes directly on my iPad with my Apple Pencil. These are gadgets I purchased for myself in preparation for graduate school. Wanting to minimize printing costs (and wasting paper), I decided on a paper-and-ink-free option for note-taking. If there is interest, I will gladly share how I keep organized as a graduate student.
At 5:30pm, I meet with my doctoral fellowship advisor, who is one of the loveliest people I know at Teachers College. She is young, energetic, passionate, and brilliant. Unfortunately, her research interests do not really intersect with mine, so I search for another research assistantship option. She willingly supports me in finding a different research project while remaining committed as my advisor. I am grateful.
I catch the subway and bus back to the apartment. It takes me approximately 50 minutes on a good day. I honestly cannot remember what I did for the rest of the evening, expect that I did not spend any additional money, per my documentation. In case you are curious, I use the “My Weekly Budget” app to keep track of my expenses on a weekly basis. It is a super user-friendly, no-frills app that gets the job done. I think I paid $1.99 for this app back in 2013, when my personal finance journey began. Some people like to keep track of spending via a traditional Excel sheet; others use fancier softwares; still others will keep track of expenses by hand. I like the app because I can quickly add purchases on the spot, select the category, and monitor my progress.
Daily Total = $17.61
Day 6 - Thursday:
My Thursday morning is a typical one. I start the day off with nutella toast (my favorite), orange juice, and some Lady Grey tea. I make my bed, water my plants, and make my way out the door. I commute to Teachers College via local transportation, which costs me $2.75 each trip; however, since my 7-day pass has not expired yet, I do not have to pay per ride. I spend much of the day in the library on campus, continuing my reading. I regret not starting my readings earlier, but then again, I realize that you cannot have it all. You win some, and you lose some. During the first month in the city, I gained a lot from taking the time to explore neighborhoods on foot. It helped me adjust to my new life, and allowed me to feel more “at home” in this metropol.
For lunch, I get cart food again, but today, I have cash with me so that I can try out one of the other carts. I go for halal food, just to try it out. I order chicken over rice, and when asked if I want “white sauce,” I enthusiastically nod, not knowing that it is, but trusting that it will be good. I pay $6 for lunch. The food is yummy and really hits the spot. However, it is quite greasy, and I do not feel so well after a few hours.
My solution to the afternoon slump is always to get a cup of chai tea, or even better, chai tea latte. Everett Cafe inside Teachers College serves just that, so I order myself a venti chai latte for $4.95. Technically, I’m supposed to pay cash for anything under $5, but the cashier tells me it is close enough and allows me to pay with my credit card. Score.
The Doctoral Student Welcome Program begins at 3pm inside Grace Dodge Hall. I take copious notes, trying my best not to get overwhelmed with all that I have to do to get started on the right foot. The program ends at 5:30pm, culminating in a social event. Yikes, I think to myself. Fortunately, I see a few familiar faces. There is a reception, so I fill my plate with plenty of food that I’m calling dinner. I meet a few new people from different departments. Around 7pm, I head back to the apartment and I order myself a hardcover version of the Publication Manual of the American Psychological Association for $40.78. While I recognize that I can access this resource online, I know that having a physical copy that is my own that I can mark up will save me time and effort down the line when I start writing academic papers utilizing the APA style. I purchase the hardcover version because I have a feeling I will be in school for quite a long time.
Daily Total = $51.73
Day 7 - Friday:
It is Friday! As a special treat, I find my copy of the “Money Diaries” book in my mailbox. I had ordered this earlier in the week for about $15 on Amazon. Friday is a special day for me because it is when I devote a couple of hours in the morning to work on my blog. Blogging has become my creative outlet, and a way for me to reset for the new week ahead while sharing my experiences and insights with readers. Even though blogging takes up quite a bit of time each week (time that I can use for my readings), it is time that I protect because I know how important it is to make time for myself, especially during those “low” moments in graduate school.
Friday is also the day I review my financial situation. I check on my investments via Fidelity and Merrill Lynch. Occasionally, I will transfer money from my savings into my investment accounts. I also check on my retirement accounts and pay utility bills. This Friday is an important one because my tuition bill is due. As I describe in an earlier post about graduate school, tuition isn’t cheap at any level of education. I review my bill for accuracy online and count my blessings that most of my scholarships and tuition points have been loaded to my account already. That means, all I have to do is pay the difference. Instead of paying $17,695 out of pocket for this first semester (tuition, college fees, and health insurance), I pay about $600.
I realize I’m nearly out of sunscreen, so I decide to try out a South Korean brand and purchase it on Amazon for about $15. My skin is extra sensitive and I have found that my skin responds better to Asian-brand and Israeli-brand products compared with American products. Fewer chemicals is my thought.
Since I do not have to be anywhere specifically today, I eat a simple but fresh lunch at home, consisting of rice, vegetables, and eggs. I spend the rest of the afternoon in the apartment, reading my books. I have made progress, but there is still much left to do. Sometimes, I wish I was born a fast reader.
In the late afternoon, I take the subway down to Gramercy, where check out a new coffee shop. This time, I’m at Think Coffee. I order a small cappuccino for $4.25 and spend a few hours reading my books. I tell Max to meet me here when he is out of work, because I want to treat him to a nice evening out. We both deserve it. There are a few really nice Italian restaurants in the neighborhood, and we decide on a small, quaint, sidewalk restaurant by the name of Novita. We simply walked by and fell in love with the atmosphere. Without even looking at the menu, I asked for a table for two. Sometimes, you just have to go for it, and not look back. If there is one thing I’m good at, it is following my heart, and having no regrets. We take a seat at one of the small covered tables by the street, and soon, the waiter comes by, listing the day’s specials in a charming Northern Italian accent. I order the truffle pasta upon the waiter’s recommendation, and Max orders a pesto pasta. I wish I remember the actual names of the entrees, because they sound much more elegant. Max also orders a chardonnay for me. We decide to share it. Within ten minutes, our entrees are served on our table. We were both super impressed at the speed, and immediately dug into our respective meals. My truffle pasta was truly unique. I did not know what the expect, since this was the first time I ever had actual truffle, like the real thing, not just truffle-flavored fries. I enjoyed my meal very much, but would probably go with my usual fish entree in the future (whenever we go out, I almost always order fish, because it is not something I know how to cook at home). Both of us completed stuffed, having savored every bite of our pastas, I ask for the check and I pay our bill. The total comes up to $95, including my 15% tip. I’m not entirely surprised, but I am shocked by how much my truffle special was---almost $45 for a vegetarian meal. It’s okay, I told myself. This is life, and you gotta live a little.
Daily Total = $129.25
The Breakdown
Total spent = $322.43